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</html>";s:4:"text";s:23731:"1. Sometimes bad luck hits you like in an ancient Greek tragedy, and it&#x27;s not your own making. I tried to stop myself from sharing even one more dog pun. 46. Murphy&#x27;s law is about bad luck, Godwin&#x27;s law is about Hitler, and ColesLaw is. Quit making me the mutt of the joke! 1. The good news, his mom is an anti-vaxxer. Irish you were mine. Sid the biker chick next to you is blonde and so is her girlfriend. ︎ 3. The. 33. I hope it&#x27;ll come out alright in the end.&quot; I was devastated. True. And be-leash us, there&#x27;s more where that came from because there are dog jokes to be . Santa&#x27;s favorite swimming spot has to be the North Pool. A depresso. When Tom the cat locks Jerry the mouse in a freezer, he will have a mice cube. Q: What do you give to a sick lemon?  I am over 18 NSFW. 4. Eat, drink, and be Irish! 27. We&#x27;ve gathered a bunch of puns from all over the internet that will help spud the competition. I&#x27;m shore we will need sunscreen on the beach. 6. Clean Sweeps. The Best 78 Lottery Jokes. A true man of character knows his limitations - but doesn&#x27;t care. Don&#x27;t give into beer pressure. Rind: Many cheeses are encased in a protective wax rind, so we&#x27;ve included rind-related puns and phrases here: Grind → Rind: As in, &quot;Got an axe to rind &quot; and &quot;Bump and rind &quot; and &quot;The daily rind &quot; and &quot;Don&#x27;t let the bastards rind you down&quot; and &quot; Rind to a halt&quot; and &quot; Rinding your teeth.&quot;. Bar goes silent. But most of all, they lend themselves extraordinarily well to all types of jokes. Don&#x27;t expect too much originality or hilarity…. Gathered from pop culture elements like movies, singers, TV, athletes, and more, there&#x27;s sure to be a funny dog name pun for you. An angry cat makes me clawstrophobic. Let them know you&#x27;ve picked the best of the bunch. There&#x27;s no sugarcoating it: you&#x27;re just a backsweet driver. 32. You can keep a few of them in your back pocket, ready to use them to impress someone or cheer someone up. Share them with a fur-end; they&#x27;d make the paw-fect addition to the inside of a greeting card or paired with gifts for dog lovers. All types of funny jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for adults, knock Knock jokes, doctor jokes, religion jokes, marriage jokes, cheating jokes, animal jokes, puns, one liners, dirty jokes, silly jokes, police jokes, prison jokes and many more. 30. I often say to myself, &quot;what good luck that the cloning maching works&quot;. Orson Welles. &quot;That could be useful up there&quot; = that bowl is closer to you than it is to the jack. A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback. Happy Paw-ther&#x27;s Day! Every now and then I fall apart! Q: Why do potatoes make good detectives? Nothing, it just let out a little wine. A: He wanted to be a woofer. There are some lottery lucky jokes no one knows . 20 Cheese Puns So Cheesy You&#x27;re Gruyere-nteed to Laugh. Well, I was definitely wrong, as the following electricity puns, completely that perception. I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. Funny Puns to Tell on a Whim Best Life I&#x27;m no cheetah…you&#x27;re lion! She says to him, &quot;this is your lucky night. Sweet talk your Valen-lime with some fruit puns to make them blush. To the guy who . 4. Sure, some of the . Pull pants up and button up. 40 Hilarious Lucky Puns - Punstoppable  Lucky Puns If you have the soldiers named Salt and Pepper in your squad then consider yourself lucky. Nice. Turned out I&#x27;d entered the National Pottery. 31. I&#x27;m feelin&#x27; green. Santa is contractually obligated to deliver presents. I&#x27;m head clover heels in love. A farmer has four daughters named Betty, Mary, Flo, and Luck. I&#x27;m kind of freaking out. She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did a good job. Dogs are the most loyal creatures on earth - completely . 1. .. The water is crystal clear - sea for yourself! Best Father&#x27;s Day Gifts for Dads From Their Sons. . Funny Sports Puns Our huge list of sports puns include baseball puns, basketball puns, soccer puns, football puns, tennis puns, ping pong puns, swimming puns, boxing puns and Olympics puns. Think pawsitive! 2. 1. He&#x27;s no matcha for me. You made my daisy. Don&#x27;t kettle in other people&#x27;s business. (5.00 out of 5) The tiniest scientists have us. Irish you a happy St. Patrick&#x27;s Day! Sudden — Spudden; Stud — Spud Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar…You can&#x27;t tell me that&#x27;s just a coincidence! If you like these luck jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. You can teach an old dog new Twix. If you do not deserve to enter heaven then you will be cast to the fire filled depths of hell where you will spend all eternity in agony.&quot; Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. I found a plant that says it supports learning about a son of Norseman Erik the Red! We should put our tulips together. 07/14/2020. 3. When my business failed, you were there. The least favourite song of mice must be &quot;What&#x27;s New Pussycat!&quot;. Scarlett Cup of Johanssen. What is it? 32. 31. ), but there&#x27;s also a few puns based around eating-related words like &quot;supper&quot;, &quot;eat&quot;, &quot;fry&quot; and &quot;swallow&quot;, for example. People only get good luck or bad luck. 33. Watch me sip, watch me nae nae. ST. PATRICKS DAY JOKES. So scroll down below, vote for the funniest, and let us know what you think! The Irish do it better. &quot;You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Trace the scars life has left you. Andy Warhowl. If it ain&#x27;t brogue, don&#x27;t fix it. M: No that&#x27;s not right.  10. Pun net: A punnet is a small basket/container for fruits and vegetables. I love you all the way from the top of your head to your mistletoes. Sweet talk your Valen-lime with some fruit puns to make them blush. We make a great pear. 5. Bad luck never lost a race. upvote downvote report This joke may contain profanity. His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor&#x27;s yard by the bedroom windows. There are also luck puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. The newest Avenger is a dog named is labro-thor. Every daisy is better because of you. I miss you berry much. Strikes &#x27;R&#x27; Us. Who cares if you&#x27;re alone-y, just eat some macaroni. ︎ . 15. Puns for All Ages; Plant Puns; Bad Puns; Golf Puns; Ghost Puns; Avocado Puns; Taco Puns; Dinosaur Puns; Goat Puns; Car Puns; Marriage Puns; Bible Puns; Banana Puns; Potato Puns; Love Puns; Space Puns; Sad Puns; Sheep Puns; Nature Puns; Tree Puns . A: You might press your luck! Very inspirational. #1. (After all, everyone knows cat memes are way funnier than dog memes .) (Kevin Nishmas) Heart Puns Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery But he&#x27;d neglected to update his will. You go, guys! Finely sliced cabbage, with a vinegar or mayonnaise based dressing A 13 month old baby breaks a mirror, giving it 7 years of bad luck. Potato jokes are classic, obviously. Candle wax. What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? Food puns mostly revolve around puns on particular food items (especially vegetables, herbs etc. Let&#x27;s give &#x27;em something to taco bout. Dogs Designed By limeart. Love you so matcha. Even when a pun isn&#x27;t that funny, the fun is in groaning at it together! Heard about someone who solves crimes by accident. Clean Sweeps. 3. Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5. The brain surgery really made her open her mind to the many wonders of the world. 13. It&#x27;s worth a shot. Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Netflix and Kill. 26. 5. M: Hey do we have any more of those things to keep the food hot? Below are more clever puns to share with loved ones and make them smile. Dogs are the most loyal creatures on earth - completely . Santa&#x27;s sleigh goes so fast he has to hang on for rein- deer life! &quot;Get it next time . (5.00 out of 5) Are you crooked? GOUDA LUCK! (4.92 out of 5) Cowboys don&#x27;t roll joints. We&#x27;re a matcha made in heaven. Push foreskin forward. Some of these 44 puns may be the perfect touch of humor for all of your St. Patrick&#x27;s Day shenanigans. Don&#x27;t make me. (1 votes, . 55 Best St. Patrick&#x27;s Day Jokes - Funny St. Patrick&#x27;s Day Jokes for Kids. Snow thank you. When I got fired, you were there to support me. Don&#x27;t jump. 8 Chinese Bad Luck 9 Bigamist Plumber 10 Parachute Troops Drop in to Jail 11 Tree-man 12 Anonymous Accountant 13 Yet More Bad Luck 14 Bad Luck - Blame the Messenger? 4. 2. RELATED: Disney Jokes for a Good . Kelp! More Humorous, Punny Jokes. You hold the kiwi to my heart. Your Yard Needs These Perennial Flowers and Plants. &quot;Good line&quot; = lousy weight. When we lost the house, you gave me support. This is a sort of &quot;meta&quot; fruit pun. Time → Thyme: As in &quot;All in good thyme.&quot; and &quot;Better luck next thyme.&quot; and &quot;We just need to buy . Burnt the candle at . I&#x27;ve got a special going, for $300 i&#x27;ll do absolutely anything you can think of but the catch is you have to be able to say it in 3 words or less.&quot; The guy replies, &quot;thats a great deal&quot; then slowly lays out 3 &amp;100 dollar notes and says &quot;Paint. If you&#x27;re getting the itch to &quot;flea&quot; this blog post filled with dog puns and word play, you&#x27;ll want to catch these last few dog puns that may make you grrrrroan! A man calls his friend to remind him about a church potluck tomorrow. Q: Why shouldn&#x27;t you iron a four-leaf clover? When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You&#x27;re just in the (Saint) Nick of time. Mark Getty. Channel &quot;the luck of the Irish&quot; from the comfort of your home with some St. Patrick&#x27;s Day crafts, a new Irish recipe, and a few of these hilarious kid-friendly jokes and puns. I was looking around the room for a topic for this week&#x27;s one liners, and spotted a candle, so here are some candle jokes. A: Pumpkin pi. You don&#x27;t want to press your luck. 13. 32. This week&#x27;s puns and one liners take the form of Luck Jokes. Planning out the holiday potluck in the company kitchen. Lazy vultures Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. We have the ulti-mutt friendship. My cat is pawsitively genius! They&#x27;re quiet. who each have dates tonight. &quot;That&#x27;s in their way&quot; = that&#x27;s in my way. There is standing one of the daughters dates. B: Burners? 3. Lottery jokes that are not only about luck but actually working roulette puns like I just won the Polish Lottery and A man comes home from work. A: A rash of good luck. But then I said, &quot;Oh, fur-get it!&quot;. It&#x27;s a holiday that we take dedicated time off for to visit family and loved ones, with a lot of thought and preparation going into the average celebration. 11. A peony for your thoughts. They will blow your mind off. 53 Genius Ways to Throw a Better Backyard Barbecue. And they don&#x27;t make you take them on walks before 8 a.m. From classy to sassy, these are the puns that can make anyone laugh (or roll their eyes at least). You go, guys! - Cheese puns Good luck card, Starting new job card, Graduation card, starting university, pun good luck card, funny pun cards Funnybirthdaycard 5 out of 5 stars (888) $ 4.82. 101 Best Bad Funny Puns 1. You warm my heart. Welcome to the Punpedia entry on Christmas puns! 47. That dance was a jig mistake. Get clover it. Q: How is a best friend like a 4-leaf clover? A guy meets a hooker in a bar. A true man of character knows his limitations - but doesn&#x27;t care. My dog asked for a corner paw-fice. These jokes will make you smile when you&#x27;re feeling bleu. What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? Q: Why don&#x27;t oranges do well in school? A great wine always starts with a good grapevine, but a great cheese will start with a good bovine. The mice decide to cancel the trip and stay at home because it is raining cats and dogs. You&#x27;re the apple of my eye. Cart: Here are some golf cart related puns: Card → Cart: As in, &quot;Calling cart &quot; and &quot; Cart sharp&quot; and &quot;A cart up his sleeve&quot; and &quot;Deck of carts &quot; and &quot;Get out of jail free cart &quot; and &quot;Holding all the carts &quot; and &quot;House of carts &quot; and &quot;Lay your carts on the table&quot; and &quot;Mark your cart &quot; and &quot;On the carts .&quot;. Michael Muglas. I knew he was trying to hold me back. 27. Cute. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, the young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. Yesterday was just paw-ful! 3. Lime all yours. List of the Best Electricity Puns &amp; Jokes. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Whether you already have a whole host of dad jokes at your disposal to simply looking to find the corniest jokes, we have something for . Add to Favorites BILLIKEN Lucky Coin Token Pocket Piece Good Luck 1908 Chicago Unknown Vintage . 28. Bowlers never die, they just end up in the gutter. The boy says, Yes you candy! Q: What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. A cat is a prized pawsession. 5. &quot;Wishin&#x27; you a pot o&#x27; gold, and all the joy your heart can hold . 3. I stopped being friends with a doctor who used to recommend that I get my spine removed all the time. 12. One of the side effects of me drinking too much red wine is I always end up getting a cab. 5. 30. Cats are some of the best animals ever. Dirty diapers bring good luck. 11. I find you very ap-peel-ing. Come to cheddar, right now. I am blonde. Let them know you&#x27;ve picked the best of the bunch. Damn! . &quot;Shake your shamrocks.&quot; 2. (4.90 out of 5) The Bowlers&#x27; own language - how to translate. There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we&#x27;ve compiled a list of fruit-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. Bowlers never die, they just end up in the gutter. Sofishticated. ︎ 4 comments. Shutterstock. 44 Hilarious Luck Puns - Punstoppable  Luck Puns My dad has Andrew Luck as his Fantasy Football Quaterback It&#x27;s been 14 weeks of luck puns, typically along the lines of &quot;I can&#x27;t lose. 280 Dad Jokes. &quot;Ok,&quot; he says, &quot;My wife and I will bring the cheese, and you and your wife need to bring the bread.&quot; His friend, who is kind of an anxious mess says, &quot;Oh man, that&#x27;s a lot to remember. I don&#x27;t know how I&#x27;m going to keep all of this information straight!&quot; Dachshunds always nap in the shade because they don&#x27;t like being hot dogs. 50 Scent. If you love sports and laughing - there is no better place to be than our sports puns section! I&#x27;m dressing!&quot; A list of puns related to &quot;Colonoscopy&quot; Colonoscopies are fun.. He is overprotective about his daughters, and he fidgets with his shotgun a lot. 1. I called the dog-tor and the dog-tor said, &quot;No more corgis jumping on the bed!&quot;. If . My Lucky Dip was full of bits of clay. That dog concert was paw-some! Ghosts speak latin, it&#x27;s a dead language (Insp) If you work at a grocery, send the interns down to the meat market to get some red herrings. Very inspirational. What a tea leaf! A leprechaun is a fairy or a supernatural being appearing in Irish folklore. This is an easy bowling pub to use. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…. What do you call those? In 1938, when he was a kid in a small Midwestern town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. I cherry-ish you. 30. I find you very ap-peel-ing. I need somebody! plum out of luck; Fruit-Related Words. Irish puns are the most O&#x27;ffensive. 29. By Best Life Editors. The chafing dish things. Funny Electrical Jokes 2. A: Only orange juice can concentrate. Then warmly greet a dwarf. wait no. Bottomless thanks! I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body. Mice always need to be oiled because they are so squeaking. Never date someone cross-eyed… You&#x27;ll always catch them seeing other people on the side! Dachshunds always nap in the shade because they don&#x27;t like being hot dogs. So scroll through our list and find your family&#x27;s favorite St. Patricks Day puns and riddles! Delicious Graduation Cake Ideas. 12. As she sat by him, he said: &quot;You have been with me all through the bad times. Potato Puns. Keep calm and bowl on. A: Lemon aid! You are in a dike bar, the only one in town actually, and many of us are blonde. The leprechaun puns are a great source of inspiration for leprechaun jokes for kids. Hugs and . Colonoscopy Puns. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. The newest Avenger is a dog named is labro-thor. A list of 27 Colonoscopy puns! &quot;We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!&quot; Luck Jokes. 4. Saw the world. Franklin D. Roosevelt. There was a river in Egypt that no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile. &quot;Good weight!&quot; = lousy line. A: Because he was on a roll. Donut give up! 2. That annoying raisin just wined about how he could never achieve true grapeness. M: Yeah but there&#x27;s another word for them G: Yeah. The Best 78 Lottery Jokes. What did the grape. His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. (Unsplash) 6. Check out our aloe puns selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. This is an easy bowling pub to use. Shawn Blend-es. &quot;Good back bowl&quot; = you were lucky you didn&#x27;t put it in the ditch. The prep is the shits!! Following is our collection of funny Lottery jokes. Following is our collection of funny Lottery jokes. Bad luck Brian - Invests in uranium, profits decay. We need to be tea leafed (debriefed) on the situation. Dog Pun Names. You shamrock my world. 29. So always wish upon ass tar. They&#x27;re seasoned veterans ︎ 278 ︎ 18 comments ︎ u/FartyMcFry89 ︎ Feb 26 2021 ︎ report It must be my lucky day! And in addition to food, we&#x27;d say that . There is a cat claws in our relationship. ︎ 11. My cat is pawsitively the best! I can&#x27;t wait to kiss your tulips. I love you just beclaws! 11. You&#x27;re safe! Take it cheesy. Jesus is standing there looking at them sternly he says, &quot; I stand at these gates to judge the souls that have passed on. They&#x27;re fluffy. May your luck hold out for decades, Bringing you only the folks you like. Keep calm and bowl on. A friend of mine is so unlucky that the last banana he bought was empty. Strikes &#x27;R&#x27; Us. I hugged her this morning and said &quot;Good luck.&quot; She replied &quot;Oh, thanks. March 19, 2019. Lime all yours. I think I have a pretty mallow personality. St. Nick is being safe after Covid and using plenty of Santa -tizer. Why did Adele cross the road? I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. Set your mind at cheese. B: Burners. There are some lottery lucky jokes no one knows . Just like Beyoncé—I sleigh, I sleigh. Irish you a happy St. Patrick&#x27;s Day. He hears a knock on the door and opens it. I&#x27;m so thorny. I miss you berry much. Categories Pun of the Day, x Tags babies, diapers, luck, poo jokes, stars, wishes. Cat lovers are a powerful clawcus. Q: Why couldn&#x27;t the sesame seed leave the casino? Lottery jokes that are not only about luck but actually working roulette puns like I just won the Polish Lottery and A man comes home from work. After it rained, all the poodle-bugs came out! . I&#x27;m Dublin over with laughter. May your eyes never fail you, When you need to tell the difference, May your walker go from zero to 60, So you could stay at a safe distance. (4.95 out of 5) Be a lumberjack. Whether your taste in cheese veers toward sharp cheddar or mild mozzarella, you probably agree that the cheesier something is the better. I&#x27;m very pawsessive of my cat. 31. ︎ 61 ︎ 3 comments ︎ u/csjo ︎ Dec 08 2014 ︎ report An elf who quits Santa&#x27;s workshop is a rebel without a Claus. Want good luck? 13. I can&#x27;t fully espresso my excitement! 2. We make a great pear. I&#x27;ve got Luck on my side.&quot; Or &quot;Guess my team is just Luck-ier than yours.&quot; He laughs every time. Paul Brewman. 14. If you&#x27;re trying to name your new dog something creative and unique, trying using one of these clever dog name puns below. When I got shot, you were by my side. Everyone likes to have a laugh from time to time, but when it comes to those classic dad jokes that you hear once in a while, they can either raise the roof, or bring the house collapsing down. The water is cold, Algae in after you. These pawsome puns will make your day. He is also nervous about the boys coming to pick them up. - The Beatles, &quot;Help&quot;. Christmas is a huge, internationally celebrated holiday, and deserves an enormous (and terrible) pun list to match. Over brie. Keep calm and stay lucky. Fruit flies like a banana. It gets on my wick. You hold the kiwi to my heart. I&#x27;m not Irish, but kiss me anyway. A dog is a woman&#x27;s best fur-riend. 29. Sheer Luck Holmes. ︎ 4 . When Joseph Swan thought of the light bulb, did a candle appear above his head..? (relief) I tea leaf (believe) in you. &quot;Hey, close the door! I cherry-ish you. You&#x27;re the apple of my eye. These tricksters are considered a symbol of luck in Ireland and are closely associated with St Patrick&#x27;s Day. 14. &quot;Hey man,&quot; the Bartender says, &quot;you&#x27;re blind so there is a few things you should know before you tell your joke. Time flies like an arrow. Hey baby, taco walk on the wild side! To say hello from the other side. But when you know a bunch of potato puns and play on words, you can make your own silly quips that will leave the crowd (or your kids) laughing at your homegrown jokes. 4. 15 Ten Funny and Strange Ideas About Luck My favorite princess is Taco Belle! 6. 31. It&#x27;s time to paddy like the Irish do! Take these coffee puns to get you through the day, and you&#x27;re sure to make other people smile and laugh with them too. You believed. Best Puns (so far) Best of @pungents #CanadianAct. True. 32. A sex addict, an alcoholic and a pot head die and arrive at the gates of heaven. If you are on the same page then this complete collection of puns is exactly what you are looking for. My friend used to be a very reserved traveler before her brain surgery. Source Thanks a latte for me being my friend You mocha me very happy. It said &quot;no matches found&quot;. Praise Cheeses! 33. 28. Here is a list of best jokes about electricity. 12. Check out this list of leprechaun puns to get your lucky charm. Cute. A: Because they keep their eyes peeled. (5.00 out of 5) Frightened bovines act cow her. James Bondi - Bondi Beach. You&#x27;re simply iris-istible. Therefore, if you are also like me, wait until you read these awesome electricity puns. Nice. 4 Examples of Good Luck and Bad Luck Folklore 5 Crow Story 6 Some Hilarious and Funny Old Wives&#x27; Tales 7 Bad Luck - Trouble? There you have it, 95 dog puns and jokes we hope you never pug-get. G: I think they&#x27;re Bunsen B-. 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